Sleepless

I am sleepless again. I can not sleep, nor can I be awake. My head is so full of thoughts and strange feelings that I can not close my eyes. I try to concentrate on my breathing. breathe in, breathe out. Inhale, exhale. Do. not. think. of. anything! In the darkness I see colours. In the roof, I see colours. Actually, I do not know if there is a roof, or if it is the aurora I see. Could it be something else than my insanity?

My eyes and my soul is no longer a part of my body. I am outside myself, watching. In the same time am I endlessly far away, and I am nanometers away. This is quite hard to explain, because there is no similar feeling to compare. It is like I am watching someone else, and I get surprised each time I realize it is myself, like when I reach out to touch something, I get surprised that they are not further away.
In the same time I am dizzy. It is not helping to sit down, it feels like the earth is swinging up and down. My breath echoes in my head, like there was nothing there. But it is.